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Cover -- Title page -- Copyright -- Dedication -- Table of Contents -- Preface -- A Personal Letter to Veterans and Recruits -- Author's Note -- Acknowledgments -- Introduction Surreal…and so real -- Section I Body -- 1 Hate September 11, 2001 -- 2 Harm Blowing up baby -- 3 Loss Everybody loses -- 4 Smart power Smarter, not harder -- 5 Restraint Cause a pause -- 6 Alternatives I won't make my wife a prostitute -- 7 Self-interest Simple needs -- 8 Dignity The ugly American -- 9 Respect Guarding killers at Abu Ghraib prison -- 10 Grievance Terrorism is only a tool -- 11 Resilience Thank you, Mr. bin Laden -- 12 Accountability Pop Quiz: Do we make our misfortune? -- Section II Mind -- 13 Balance Kissing and killing -- 14 Context 1 On Rashids -- 15 Context 2 On rapes -- 16 Context 3 On men of God -- 17 Context 4 Inside out and upside down -- 18 Conscious bigotry A big T for tolerance -- 19 Unconscious bigotry Fed poison -- 20 Pride Don't be a roadblock -- 21 Arrogance The six blind wise men and the elephant -- 22 Ignorance When complexion kills -- 23 Understanding Cultural blindness -- 24 Change "A tremendous responsibility to humanity" -- Section III Heart -- 25 Commonality We laugh and cry in the same language -- 26 Comfort Peace of mind -- 27 Compassion It's the children, stupid -- 28 Empathy Look through his eyes -- 29 Community The Baghdad Zoo -- 30 Family Heart is where the home is -- 31 Duty War heroes on war -- 32 Sacrifice How precious? -- 33 Crisis Unity through tragedy -- 34 Duality And -- 35 Exclusion Are you with us or against us? -- 36 Inclusion Colores -- Section IV Soul -- 37 Tolerance In defense of faith -- 38 Holy war I'm sorry for what we've done to ourselves -- 39 Camaraderie Surrounded by armed Turks! -- 40 Appreciation Credit -- 41 Mindfulness Words as hands -- 42 Humanity Fighting fighting -- 43 Action Entering Indonesia